


What Dreams May Come

by Galactilicious



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Because I do research of Star Wars lore, Because I respect other people's work, But Ben comes back, F/M, Fix-It, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, There will be no retconing, and because I said so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:21:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21942073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galactilicious/pseuds/Galactilicious
Summary: "The Force has demanded so much from us. The galaxy has taken so much from us. I think it's time we get paid back," his grandfather says, his solemn face forever entombed in youth."You are the other half of her soul. And now she's coming to take it back."
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 12
Kudos: 32





	1. After the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tries to settle down in an abandoned homestead on Tatooine, but the past haunts her, through visions of what was and dreams of what could have been.  
> 
> 
> Meanwhile, a man who should be dead is confused at the new turn of events.  
> 

_"Show me...  
We'll see each other again...  
...Grandfather...  
...I believe that...  
...And I will finish...  
I won't lose you, Padmé!  
...What you started."_  
\- Star Wars: Rebels; _A World Between Worlds_  


* * *

* * *

The first day is spent mindlessly cleaning the circular courtyard of the homestead, decades of sandstorms having half buried the entrances to various rooms. She makes do with chunks of metal plates scattered about to shovel sand from out of the crater, hoping to reach one of the entrances by the end of the day.  


Artoo had told her that the Lars homestead had been a moisture farm, so it is imperative to reach the tech room and fix what can be fixed. BB-8 helps her as much as he can, and she is grateful for that. He beeps and chirps as he rolls around and examines the vaporators she managed to unearth, most of them needing some kind of mechanical attention.  


She works so tirelessly that by the time the setting of the binary stars paints the world in brilliant oranges and reds, all of the vaporators have been freed from their sandy prison, and BB-8 has crawled through the only accessible entrance in search of the tech room.  


He returns moments later and happily beeps that the room is mostly intact, as well as the rest of the dwelling. It is only a little strange, because she does sense some terrifying tragedy had occurred here, a long time ago. Perhaps the scavengers had felt it too. _Cowards_ , she thinks. Not even the pain and terror she feels still etched in the pourstone walls would stop Young Scavenger Rey from taking over the complex.  


As it is, Rey the Last Jedi isn’t all that different.  


She decides then that she’s done enough work for one day and goes back to the ship, which will be her temporary home until she’s managed to bring the homestead into a liveable state. Right now, it is still mostly inaccessible, and with its relatively big size, it will take at least a week until she can settle in, and then some to call it home.  


_Home_ , she turns the word over and over in her mind as she lies in the narrow cot. She used to think of the dilapidated AT-AT half buried in the Goazon Badlands of Jakku as her home, even if she had never known warmth lying in her little makeshift bed.  


Then, as if carried on the wings of the mighty X'us'R'iia, a dark-skinned and wide-eyed boy had crashed into her life and taken her away from the suffocating dirtball, and all at once she had been surrounded by people and a cause and she had thought, _perhaps this is what a home really is_.  


And then time had passed, and she’d been living with these people, sharing shelter and food and hopes and laughs even in the midst of all those horrors of war, and she had thought, _this must be what a home is_.  


And then, during a particularly peaceful period some few months after Crait, Maz had told her that home is not a place, but a feeling. And she’d immediately seen a pair of dark eyes pleading with her and an outstretched hand, and she’d thought, _could that have been my home, after all?_  


And then she had drawn breath into her stilled lungs, her body gently cradled in strong arms, those same eyes looking at her as if she were the Maker itself, come bearing the most hidden secrets of the universe. She could barely register what was happening, her heart beating once again in her chest, threatening to break free of its cage and fly out to meet its other half. His lips had been soft and warm, and his smile like a beacon of light in the dark chambers of the temple. And in that moment she had thought, _I am home_.  


Her brain cuts the line of her thoughts, knowing that thinking of what comes next would render her already shattered heart into a billion little particles, which would then mingle with the Tatooine sand and she would never be able to pick them up again. As it is, the fact that she lives is a reminder of that day.  


So she screws her eyes shut, conjures images of vaporator blueprints, and fills her mind with numbers and lines and stats until it tires and drags her down into the dark.

* * *

Days shuffle by and the homestead has finally been cleared from sand, and Rey slowly moves in. She can barely believe how neat everything looks; on Jakku, every surface had always been covered in a fine layer of sand, and no matter how much she’d tried to keep it dust-free, it would always return, as if the desert was trying to reclaim what belonged to it.  


But the homestead had been built to withstand the trials of the arid climate, with most of it located underground and built with insulated walls. She’s no longer suffocating in the heat during the day, nor is she shivering in bed during the night. And what a bed it is; compared to her AT-AT hammock, or even the Resistance-issued bunks, it is like lying among clouds.  


In the following days she occupies herself with puttering about the complex, doing little repairs and clean-ups, and generally exploring its various rooms. The complex is of a considerable size, with much more room than Rey will need, but she is content to be able to freely wander about.  


She has chosen one of the smaller rooms to settle in, mostly because she is not used to have so much space at her disposition. Aside from the comfortable bed, it has a nightstand, a chest for storage, and a big desk under the window which looks out on the courtyard and lets the light in.  


BB-8 keeps her company, and she is so grateful for that, but she knows that, as works on the homestead draw slowly to a close, she will have to comm Poe to come and fetch him. He is a great friend, but he is not hers. Rey feels that the little white and orange ball misses his master. She knows it would be cruel to keep them separated; the little droid will have to go home.  


She will be sad to see him go, but it’s for the best.  


When dusk arrives, Rey goes to the small kitchen to prepare a sand rat she’d caught and skinned earlier. Being a much bigger planet than Jakku, Tatooine hosts many more living forms, and she’s glad she won’t always have to eat rations and veg-meat. Already there are mushrooms growing at the base of the functional vaporators, and she fries them along with the meat.  


After dinner, she ventures to the ‘fresher to clean up. She luxuriates in the warm water spray; the vaporators have been working for over two weeks now, and they only have her to sustain, so there’s no need to be rigorously economic. She likes the way warm water relaxes her sore muscles.  


By the time she enters her room, night has fallen, but she doesn’t need any lamps; the three moons are high in the black sky tonight, and they bathe the room in a soft blue light.  


Rey’s brow furrows as she looks about, the soft blue light growing in intensity as the moons change positions, until it seems that everything in the room _is_ blue. At first Rey doesn’t realise why her heart is throbbing painfully in her chest. As she peels back the thin bed cover and settles in, the blue light becomes increasingly menacing.  


All at once, there are flashes of brilliant white-blue lightning outside the window. Rey is out of the bed in an instant and her new lightsaber flies into her hand and ignites without much thinking, its yellow glow clashing with the blue backdrop. She is having difficulty breathing, but almost as soon as it appeared, the lightning vanishes, and the room instantly darkens.  


Like a frightened little child, Rey jumps back into the bed and pulls the cover over her eyes. She knows that what she has just seen was not real; lightning like that is not natural, but a product of immeasurable darkness, darkness that had perished in a vast underground temple at her very hands.  


And at a great cost.  


She struggles uselessly against the onslaught of memories; a pair of yellow-red eyes and cackling that echoes throughout the cavernous space, thousands upon thousands of hooded figures chanting ominously in a language as old as time, the sounds of cannon fire raining high above her head.  


A tall figure dressed in loose black clothes appearing in front of her like a beacon of hope, the blue lightsaber heavy with history gripped tight in his hand.  


She shakes her head vigorously, as if that will make the memory fall out of her head. Foolish, she knows; this is something that will haunt her for the rest of her life, just another in the long list of ghosts she has had to leave behind.  


She refuses to think further about it; the wound in her heart only throbs occasionally, but the one in her mind is a constant pain, like a phantom limb that’s long been cut off still aches. Immediately she starts to plan out what needs to be done tomorrow. She counts the various repairs awaiting, calling to the front the image of the vaporator right next to the main entrance, even as tears stream silently down her cheeks.  


* * *

Soon, Rey will have to venture out to Anchorhead.  


She figures she can do without a few of the sixty-three vaporators installed throughout the complex. They should be good barter for a landspeeder. It wouldn’t have to be a perfectly functionable one; as long as it moves it would be great, and as for any other problems it might have, she would find a way to fix them.  


She has always been good at fixing things.  


She decides that she will comm Poe as soon as she comes back from the settlement. She is not particularly looking forward to that conversation; when she’d come up to him and Finn, only days after Exegol, she’d said that time had come for her to leave. They had immediately started protesting, _what are you talking about? Where will you go? The galaxy needs you, Rey!_ She had been expecting that, so she’d simply told them that she needed time away from everyone and everything, just so that her mind wouldn’t implode on itself.  


The truth is, Rey has never fully informed them on what had happened underneath the surface as the battle raged above. She’d kept it plain and simple: Palpatine had been taunting her because of her power, but she’d managed to kill him. They don’t know much more.  


It wasn’t like she’d wanted to lie to them, she just hadn’t been ready to face the truth herself yet.  


And now they will come here, demanding answers and presenting plans for the future, and Rey will have to come clean. They won’t like it, especially Finn, but they will have to accept it.  


Rey is staying on Tatooine, and there is nothing that could change her mind.  


After a quick breakfast, she begins to levitate thirteen vaporators on board her ship. They have all been repaired, so they should be more than enough to trade for a landspeeder. Visits to any populated place will be necessary from time to time, and a space ship is far too inconvenient for such travel.  


Anchorhead is very small, a cluster of low-rise, domed buildings. To other newcomers it might look interesting, but all Rey sees is sand.  


She walks straight into Junix’s Joint, her lighstaber tucked safely in her pack so as not to draw any attention. She asks around among the patrons if anyone is selling a landspeeder, and scores a deal rather quickly; functional vaporators are wanted goods on a dirtball like this.  


In the end, she only needs to give up five of the machines, in exchange for a rusty old X-34 landspeeder. It’s clunky, but Rey is satisfied. Task done, she heads back to the outskirts.  


After parking the new landspeeder safely in the underground garage, Rey washes up and heads for her bed. The moons are not visible through the bedroom window tonight, so she lights an old oil lamp and places it on the desk.  


Lying burrowed under the covers, she swears she can feel phantom limbs around her back and on her neck. She tries to shake the feeling, but even as sleep eludes her, there is a rough hand on her right cheek, soft hair tickling her forehead.  


The pain in her heart and her head is so sharp that a gasp escapes her, echoing in the lonely room.  


That night dry heaves shake her body, until the universe grants her mercy and she sinks into unconsciousness.  


* * *

_She is lounging on a softly-upholstered chair on the porch, the trees of the garden surrounding the house providing shade from the rising sun as she reads.  
_

__

_A flutter of movement coming from the edge of the forest right behind the house turns her attention to the sky; a flock of convorees breaks free of the tree line and, chirping cheerily, loops high in the sky before diving to glide low over the glittering lake.  
_

_The flight of the birds draws her attention to the structure standing in the distance, on the other side of the lake. The great castle still has a long way to go before being restored to its former glory, but it is in function, and there are already travellers and smugglers coming in to seek refuge, rest and entertainment._  


_A rush of sensation passes over her mind then, like the warm wind on a sunny day, and there is a ridiculous grin plastered on her face even before strong arms wrap around her waist and a soft-haired head buries itself in the crook of her neck._  


_“Morning,” a deep voice rumbles into her ear, sending shivers down her spine. “What are you doing?” _  
__

____

____

_“What does it look like I’m doing?” she answers, lifts the book and wiggles it in front of his face._  


_He feigns annoyance and waves her hand away, but his features quickly smooth back into an easy smile that reaches his eyes. “It’s a nice day today, don’t you think?”_  


_“Yeah?” she answers and asks at the same time, because his voice carries a hint of mischief._  


_“I was thinking we could go for a swim.”_  


_It is then that she turns completely around and finally notices that he is wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. She drops her book, face aflame, but he catches it with the Force and deposits it on the small table next to the chair, his chuckle filling the space between them._  


_Then all of a sudden he grabs her, one arm on her back and the other under her knees, and, ignoring her yelp of surprise, lifts her up and starts down the porch. _  
__

____

____

_“What are you doing?” she exclaims, her arms around his neck a reflex movement._  


_"What does it look like I'm doing?" he replies, and earns himself a smack on the shoulder._  


_“I’m fully clothed,” she protests weakly._  


_"I'll take care of that." And he prompts the Force to unbutton her sleep shirt._  


_"Ben!" she squeals, her legs kicking uselessly in the air._  


_“Oh, c’mon, you’re all flushed, you look like you could use a swim to cool down._ ”  


_She smacks him again, and he laughs, the sound lifting up in the air, the gentle summer breeze carrying it away over the currents of the deep blue lake._  


Her eyes fly open, her vision blurred by the tears falling freely down her face. Her heart seizing in her chest, she finally allows the flood of memory to fall upon her.  


It had been a lovely dream, cruel in its clarity, almost as if it had been something she’d lived. Everything she has ever needed, longed for, dangling in front of her like an unreachable treat.  


She closes her eyes against the stream of tears, the phantom feeling of soft hair under her fingerprints, a beaming, dimpled smile all she can see, and tries to relax and open up her mind to the ever-flowing currents of the Force.  


“Be with me,” she whispers.  


The silence of the room is deafening, but she tries again.  


“Be with me.”  


Nothing, still.  


“Be with me… Please.”  


Her eyes slowly open, but the room is as dark and empty as it always is.  


She finally breaks, sobs wracking her tired body and echoing off the walls. She curls up on herself, praying to every deity she knows of that sleep claims her again, but this time, the universe is merciless, and so she cries until her eyes cannot cry anymore.  


* * *

* * *

The boy who had been before had never slept all that well. There had been too much noise in his head, noise that would not quiet along with the world when the night would fall, but that would instead grow louder because he would have nothing to occupy his mind with.  


It hadn’t mattered if he’d been a small child, all alone for days on end in a flashy apartment in a big city, with nothing but droids to keep him company. It hadn’t mattered if he’d been a boy, trying desperately to find his way among students of his uncle’s training temple. It hadn’t mattered if he’d been a young man, plagued by immense feelings of fear and guilt and deep, unexplainable anger. It hadn’t mattered how old he’d been, because the voices in his head had been such a constant that he’d long stopped to wonder if he’d perhaps been born with them.  


The man who had been after could not sleep well at all. He had lived in constant need to prove himself to someone who he had looked up to, someone who’d only seen value in him because of the name he carried.  


That man had never known peace. But then, after a string of fated events, the shadow over his mind had been removed by his own hands, and he had thought that he’d finally been set free. Yet as the days turned into months, and months into a full year, the voices had never stopped.  


Along with them though, at one point in his life, something else had appeared and stood at odds with his mental plagues.  


He had been perhaps nine, or ten, the newest arrival at the Jedi Temple, and he’d been sitting at his desk reading a flimsy old book on the ancient order that his uncle had given him, when he’d felt a tug at his heart, and a sensation like the galaxy itself had let out a sigh of relief had passed through the air. He had immediately gone to his uncle, but the Grand Master had sensed nothing of the sort, and had had no idea what it could have been.  


_Meditate on it_ , he had told him. But the boy had no clue where to start.  


Among all these things, there had also been dreams. They were mostly of the normal sort, but as he’d grown older, the dreams had turned dark and menacing, and the look in his uncle’s eyes had turned cautious, even a little scared.  


The man after had also had dreams, but they were mostly ghosts of his past haunting him relentlessly, no doubt come to sow regret that he fought so hard against during the waking hours.  


But that same man had made a decision one day, a decision born out of the kind of selfless love he hadn’t known he had in him, and, with the ghost of a soft kiss on his lips and a hand on his cheek, his body carried away on the currents of the Force, he had thought that he would finally be able to rest.  


In reality, he still dreams, and the dreams have never been as intense, or as heartbreaking, as they are now.  


And they all come back to that one simple thing that had inspired the tug of his young heart and that sigh of universal relief twenty years ago. He has no time to think what it all means, plagued as he is by the visions of places he has never been to, events that have never come to be, and lives he has never lived.  


And so Ben Solo waits for the peace and lightness of being that comes with being one with the Force, waits for what feels like eternity and no time at all, but all he gets instead are these constantly shifting dreams, with hazel eyes and a dimpled smile at the forefront of them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quote from the beginning is from season 4, episode 13 (A World Between Worlds) of the animated series Star Wars: Rebels, which takes place some 35 years before TROS. In it the Jedi padawan Ezra Bridger enters this plane of existence beyond time and space, and hears voices from the past, the present, and the future.  
> 
> 
> In truth, the voices are quotes from all of the movies and tv shows that had come out by then (the episode came out February 2018). Among them is the quote, which is a sequence of snippets of dialogue from TFA, and in the episode the snippets can be heard in this exact order. Interesting, right?  
> 
> 
> Ezra entered this plane through a painting of the Mortis gods in the Jedi temple on Lothal. The temple was then destroyed, and this is the only known entrance to it in canon. The thing is, there had been no mention of this plane after, which means that if canon required it, they could make a new entrance. For example, there is a triple episode arc on Mortis and its gods (Father, Daughter, Son) in The Clone Wars, and, who is to say that there isn't an entrance right there on Mortis? It would only make sense (links on this as it comes up in the story).  
> 
> 
> This is my first time doing something like this and, sheesh, the formatting almost destroyed me. No beta, all mistakes are my own, etc.  
> 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at[galactilicious](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/galactilicious)  
> 
> 
> References:  
> 
> 
> [Lars homestead](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Lars_homestead)  
> 
> 
> [Goazon Badlands](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Goazon_Badlands)  
> 
> 
> [X'us'Riia](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/X%27us%27R%27iia)  
> 
> 
> [Vaporator mushrooms](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Vaporator_mushroom/Legends)  
> 
> 
> [Anchorhead](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Anchorhead)  
> 
> 
> [Exegol](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Exegol)*sobs*  
> 
> 
> [Junix's Joint](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Junix's_Joint)  
> 
> 
> [X-34 landspeeder](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/X-34_landspeeder)  
> 


	2. The In-Between

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two dreams, a vision, a memory, and a long overdue conversation.

This isn’t quite what he’d expected the Netherworld of the Force to be like; he’d thought he would find himself amidst a misty plane, surrounded by everyone there had ever been, at peace and able to rest for the first time in forever. Instead, he doesn’t seem to be in any place at all.  


His mind feels heavy, weighed down by something he cannot understand. It feels as if someone had carved out pieces of his memories, pieces of his congitive functions, and now he’s unsure of where he is or what is happening or what _happened_. 

It mostly feels as if he’s just sleeping, dreaming beautiful dreams, occasionally interrupted by short periods of consciousness. There is a routine to his mind’s day, he soon realises, and it’s very strict.  


But as time passes, as he slowly comes to realise that time is _actually passing_ , he figures that something isn’t quite right.  


Wherever he is, it’s not the Netherworld.  


But he died, did he not? He had given up his life force so that Rey could live.  


Yes, that is what had happened. He died, and is now dead.  


Only, this can’t be what death is. He is so confused.  


But before his brain can work some more, his thoughts scatter like leaves carried by a gentle breeze, and he is plunged into another dream.  


_When his father steps closer on the narrow bridge, his weathered face turned up to him with such devoted love, and pleads with him to come home, Ben Solo throws Kylo Ren overboard into the abyss of the Starkiller Base core and goes with him._  


_They barely make it to the Falcon, Chewbacca, the bewildered scavenger and the ex-stormtrooper hot on their heels. The oscillator chamber implodes just as the old freighter lifts from the surface._  


_It’s the most awkward ride he’s ever had to endure in his life, but he just focuses on the nervous relief his father is exuding._  


_And the furtive, curious glances that the scavenger keeps sending his way and thinks he doesn’t notice._  


_When they arrive at the Resistance base, his mother is surprised, but doesn’t outwardly show it. It’ll take time to heal things between them, but he is glad to see her alive and well, and he knows she is too._  


_That same day the scavenger leaves to a remote planet to retrieve the Jedi legend himself, Luke Skywalker. She returns a few days later with him in tow. He is not sure how long it will take to heal that relationship, but for the sake of peace and prosperity, he is willing to try._  


_A few more days pass and he sees the scavenger-_  


-Rey, _approach him cautiously as he’s helping repair a broken-down X-wing. She asks to talk alone, and he follows without protest._  


_She wants to know why she keeps seeing him at the corner of her vision when she knows he’s elsewhere. He knows what she’s talking about, because he keeps seeing her too._  


_They don’t tell anyone at first, resolving to figure it out together, but when she appears before him just as he is about to enter the shower, her face as red as the fiery forests of Mustafar, she suggests to go to Luke, and he reluctantly agrees, if only to put a name to this strange connection they share._  


_That’s how he finds himself weeks later, sitting on his bed and her sitting in front of a soft fire on the other side of the galaxy as she searches the wastes of space with Luke for some Sith artefact that could end the war, and he has stayed behind because here he is more “useful”._  


_She confides in him, he realises, as she recounts what she has found out about her parents. Tears are streaming down her cheeks, and his palm itches as he restrains himself from reaching out to her._  


_“I’ve never felt so alone,” she confesses, still shivering slightly under her blanket._  


_“You’re not alone,” he says, and he thinks he has never said a bigger truth._  


_She looks up at him, her face moulding into soft determination as she replies, “Neither are you.”_  


_His heart is beating so fast it hurts as he watches her outstretched hand reach out to him. He takes it without hesitation, but before he can do anything else the connection peters out and she is gone._  


_The first thing he does after she’s come back a couple of days later and briefed the Resistance leaders is to grab her hand and take her to that place they’d discovered long ago. It is a cliff just at the edge of the forest, a half hour walk from the base, that overlooks the valley below and the ocean farther out._  


_He allows her to inform him that they are a dyad in the Force before he grabs her face and crushes his lips to hers. It’s over quickly as he has no idea what he’s doing. It’s more a peck than a kiss, and her eyes are as wide as the new satellite dish Lando insisted on installing on the Falcon, and her cheeks are a lovely red._  


_He takes a breath and tries again. Her arms go around his neck and her hands in his hair and he is pulling her closer by the waist and her lips are as soft as silk and the Force sings a victorious tune and he is in heaven._  


The vision dispels before his mind’s eye, but before he can make any sense of what he’d seen, he is-  


_-in his hut, waiting._  


_The voices in his head are constant, condescending, and often violent, but Luke listens to him, encourages him, and trusts in Ben’s own judgement and his character, and so Ben fights them, every day._  


_His parents comm him as often as they can. The galaxy always needs them, because the galaxy is always in some kind of trouble, but they find time nonetheless, and he is endlessly grateful for that, even if he doesn’t always say so._  


_It is tiring business, and often very lonely, waging war against your own head. But every time he closes his eyes and concentrates, he feels a small, but bright and warm light at the back of his mind; a candle, with a string tied around it, tethered to something far out across the stars._  


_Luke is always enigmatic when Ben mentions it, his answers always being something like_ if fate wills it, you will find out, _or,_ trust in the Force to give the answer when it deems it’s time. _It’s infuriating; he doesn’t understand how it feels, so Ben stops bringing it up all together._  


_The answer arrives one day when he accompanies the pilot Poe Dameron to a remote desert dirtball to retrieve something of vital importance to the peace of the galaxy._  


_He forgets all about the mission and the peace as he watches a girl in rags and odd three buns in her hair approach them with Dameron’s orange and white BB unit droid._  


_She is skinny and dirty and maybe he wouldn’t give her a second look if he passed her on the street, if the candle in his mind didn’t grow to consume his whole body, his heart straining in his chest almost as if it wants to get out and... do something._  


_Dameron is running his mouth, no doubt about the droid and the information he’s carrying, but neither him nor the girl are listening. She’s staring at him as if he’s grown two heads._  


_The pilot finally stops talking as the girl abruptly approaches Ben, peering up at him with wide, beautiful hazel eyes, eyes that look at his like they’re holding all the answers of the universe._  


_Then she smiles softly, and his heart is already in her hands when she says, “It’s you.”_  


_And it’s not long after, not long at all, and she’s at the temple with him, getting a crash course in Jedi practice from Luke, and she’s progressing so fast, there’s just something about her and she absorbs everything so eagerly._  


_He forgets what loneliness feels like; she consumes his every thought, no matter how close or far she is. Their bond grows stronger by the day, and it’s his biggest source of comfort._  


_He senses her passing by his hut. He hasn’t gotten the chance to kiss her the entire day, so he opens the door and pulls her in using the Force._  


_She yelps as she collides with his chest. She’s giggling and just that sound seems to chase away the darkness in the small space._  


_He also notices she’s wearing one of his old tunics. She has it cinched at the waist with a thin belt and it’s old enough that it fits her quite well. He stops the train of thoughts that the hormones he’s only now catching up to want to produce, and after a quick kiss he goes to his table to retrieve the glass ball._  


_He’d been offworld for a week, on the fourth moon of Yavin, known for its diversity of life. He’d seen the lovely plant and known he had to bring it back to her somehow. During a short comm with his mom she’d advised to take the flower out from the root and plant it into a glass ball with some grass, and then close the ball. She’d said it would create a self-sufficient environment for the plant._  


_The soft glow of the flower reflects on Rey’s wonderstruck face. She admires the plant for a few moments more, and then she lowers it carefully onto his small nightstand._  


_Then she jumps into his arms and proceeds to rain kisses all over his face. An undignified giggle escapes him, but he doesn’t care._  


_It’s Rey, after all._  


* * *

He thinks he feels a headache coming, but how is that possible? Shouldn’t death be deliverance from the sufferings of life? He thought he’d escaped the aches of life, he-  


_-wakes up to an empty bed, but he’s not surprised; it’s a beautiful summer morning, judging by the brilliant rays of sunlight pouring in through the gaps in the curtains._  


_After washing up quickly in the ‘fresher he steps out on the porch and sees her sitting in the plush chair, a book in her lap._  


_He wraps his arms around her waist, and breathes her in._  


_“Morning. What are you doing?”_  


_She lifts up the book and waves it in his face. “What does it look like I’m doing?”_  


_He scowls, moves her hand away, but it’s hard to keep up the scowl these days so he’s already smiling again. “It’s a nice day today, don’t you think?”_  


_“Yeah?” her answer lifts at the end, no doubt recognising the upcoming trap in his voice._  


_“I was thinking we could go for a swim.”_  


_She turns around finally and takes him in. He catches her book with the Force as it falls, a reaction to his state of undress along with her beautifully blushing cheeks. He can’t help a small laugh as he places the book on the table._  


_And then she’s squealing as he scoops her up in his arms and carries her down the porch._  


_“What are you doing?” she yells even as she wraps her arms around his neck._  


_“What does it look like I’m doing?” he repeats her words and she smacks hin lightly on the shoulder._  


_“I’m fully clothed.”_  


_“I’ll take care of that,” he says, and at his command his old shirt she sleeps in starts to unbutton._  


_“Ben!”_  


_He looks down at the ever-expanding amount of skin she’s showing, most of which is reddening. “Oh, c’mon, you’re all flushed, you look like you could use a swim to cool down.”_  


_She smacks him again, and he laughs, and she’s laughing too, and he feels so, so light._  


* * *

It becomes increasingly difficult to get ahold of his thoughts, the dreams coming faster, the periods of lucidity decreasing, until they start mingling with reality itself, until-  


_-he’s climbing up from the depths of darkness, fighting to reach the surface, ignoring his broken ribs and leg, even as he no longer senses her in the Force._  


_It had happened so suddenly; one moment she’d been there, in the back of his mind, at the heart of his heart, an extension of himself. Her presence had flared in his head, a mixture of fear, resignation, and something she’d so clearly been sending out to him, something he could never deserve even if he’d gotten to live a million more years with her._  


Ben.  


_The next moment he’d slipped on his rocky climb because his head had felt as if someone had taken a vibroblade and cut out that place in his mind where Rey had made herself a home a year ago._  


_A place that had belonged to her long before they’d met._  


_Panic threatens to overwhelm him, to drag him back down, but he pushes on,_ I have to reach her, I have to-  


_The candle snuffed out, the thread severed in half, he finally reaches the cliff’s edge and hauls himself over._  


_Slowly, painfully, he drags his battered body over the distance to where he sees her lying on the floor, stumbles, falls, picks himself back up and carries on for what feels like forever, until he finally drops down beside her._  


_She is so, so still._  


_He looks on at her for a moment, frozen, his brain unable to process what his eyes are sending it._  


_Then, almost on autopilot, he wraps his arm around her back, pulls her slightly up by the arm. It hurts to move, it hurts to breathe, but he has to, he has to..._  


_At last he manages a sitting position, with her in his lap, and he takes ahold of her lolling neck with his hand and pulls her away slightly so that he can look at her._  


_As he stares into her unseeing eyes, he finally realises that she is truly dead._  


_He knows what he has to do._  


_He pulls her to him one last time, resting his chin on her shoulder, relishing in the feel of her against him even as her body cools. She is so small in his arms._  


_Then, he gently pulls her away and places his open palm over her abdomen._  


_Stars, when was the last time he’d meditated with the Light surrounding him?_  


_It’s not difficult, though; this is the most important thing he’s ever had to do._  


_He thinks of the look she’d given him after seeing he’d come for her. It had been a look he’d never seen before, something like relief and hope and love written in her eyes._  


_He feels his life draining out of him, pouring through his fingers and straight into her. He is concentrating so hard that he doesn’t feel her lungs expanding under his hand, not until her own hand gently covers his and he finally looks up._  


_She barely blinks as life spreads through her once more, barely blinks as she sits up and looks at him with pure astonishment crossing her features._  


_And then that look starts to melt into wonder, stays even as she whispers the name he’d been born with, as she smiles widely, something soft and precious blooming between them._  


_She reaches up in the limited space between them and lays her palm gently on his cheek. Warmth begins to blossom from her touch through his body, numbing the pain and relaxing his sore muscles. A sense of overwhelming, unadulterated relief spreads through him as he watches her take breaths, the smile that doesn’t falter._  


_He’s still basking in the light of that smile when she grabs his face and kisses him. His mind blanks, refusing to keep track of anything else but the feeling of her soft lips on his and his body in her arms._  


_She pulls back, but never far away. He feels his mouth stretching into a smile, like a rusty old speeder roaring back to life after sitting for years in a garage, just waiting for someone to pick it up._  


_She has never been more beautiful than she is now as she smiles shyly at him. He feels his heart break a little; he knows he has to leave now, but his desert flower is so strong, she’ll get through this, she’ll get to live._  


_His vision begins to blur, and the last thing he feels as he sinks are her hands on his head, and then he’s falling._  


_He expects darkness, nothingness, the end of all things._  


_Instead, brilliant light explodes behind his closed eyelids, consumes his whole being. It is warm, and safe, and familiar, like the unconditional embrace of a mother._  


_There are small, rough hands on his cheek, a soft kiss to the crown of his head._  


Ben. My love. My blood. You’re free at last. Go forth.  


_And then the light dissipates, and he is shoved violently, the sense of free-falling all but consuming him, and maybe he’s screaming as he falls and-_  


-opens his eyes.  


* * *

He is… not dead?  


All he can see at first are stars, an infinite number of them twinkling against and endless backdrop of black.  


As he struggles to get a sense of his bearings, he realises he is not, in fact, floating in space, but standing on an almost sheer kind of pathway.  


He considers lying down for a minute; he is so dizzy, his brain simply refuses to make sense of what is happening.  


What is the last thing he remembers?  


Running, a dark expanse of a cavern. Lightning, pain, falling. Rey.  


Gasps start to shake his body as he finally comes to his senses. He’d followed Rey to Exegol, where she’d died after killing Sidious, and he’d given his own life to her. He’d died.  


He’s pretty sure he’d dropped dead after that.  


Apparently not.  


It’s also at this precise moment, as he looks down to follow the pathways that stretch below the one he’s on, that he notices that he is utterly, fully, completely _naked._  


“Great…”  


Will his suffering ever end?  


“Well, that’s a first.”  


Ben almost falls over the pathway and straight back into death as the voice comes unexpectedly from behind him.  


There is a young man standing just a few steps away from him. He is shorter than Ben, with coppery-blonde hair and dull off-white and brown Jedi robes.  


The man appears younger than him, but his blue eyes carry a whole lifetime of suffering and pain.  


“A Skywalker has conquered death. Twice,” he continues, almost as if he’s telling an inside joke.  


And Ben knows who’s standing in front of him, even if he’d never seen or heard him before.  


Anakin Skywalker seems to catch onto his grandson’s thoughts, because his smile fades.  


“I’ve tried to reach you so many times, Ben, but he wouldn’t let me. It had hurt me so, having to watch my own flesh and blood repeat all of my worst mistakes.” He steps closer, and Ben notices the soft blue glow emanating from his form.  


He doesn’t really know how to reply to that, so he just doesn’t. He just stands there, and his grandfather watches him silently, until Ben remembers what Anakin had said earlier.  


“I had to save her.”  


Anakin laughs at that, but it’s a bitter sound, devoid of all humour.  


“I know you had.” He steps even closer, lays a hand on Ben’s shoulder to prompt him to start walking, and continues, “You love her, you wanted to save her, and so you did. Simple as that.”  


As they walk on, it becomes clear that Anakin’s mind is far away, even as he speaks in the present. “But I don’t think you understand how special it is, what you’ve done for her.”  


After a few steps during which Ben again doesn’t say anything, Anakin asks, “Do you know why I fell?”  


Ben shakes his head; he’d been told that Anakin Skywalker had been the greatest Jedi of his generation, before falling at the hands of Darth Vader. He’d only found out, at the same time as the rest of the galaxy, through HoloNet seven years ago, that Anakin Skywalker had _been_ Darth Vader.  


“I had a vision, your grandmother dying in childbirth,” he recalls, the decades falling away in front of his eyes. “It had seemed so real, like I was looking straight into the future. I knew I had to stop it, and I knew I would do it, no matter the cost.”  


Ben barely dares to breathe; he is finally, finally about to find out the truth.  


“The thing is, I’d been much more selfish than you are,” he says, and Ben almost snorts at that, but something in Anakin’s eyes stops him.  


“Because he wasn’t only offering me a way to save Padmé, he was offering me power, and that was something I’d always been craving, something I’d believed was my right.” Ben knows who _he_ is, and knows how alluring he can make his words sound.  


“In the end, I told myself I was accepting his offer so I could save the one whom I loved. But my reasons were much more selfish than that. And because that is how the Dark works, it was my choice that cost her her life.”  


As he finishes his tale, he is an old, old man, older than he ever got to be in life, even if his hair is still lush coppery-blonde and his eyes are a brilliant blue.  


“I’d spent more than two decades in the Dark, but not even that had been strong enough to kill the Light within me, Light that in turn saved my son, even if it had been too late for me.”  


He looks at Ben with eyebrows raised, waiting for the message to settle.  


And the thing is, Ben understands. He’d spent so much of his life trying to live up to the legacy of his grandfather, listening to the voice in his mind that turned out to be nothing more than an imposter.  


But, when it mattered the most, he’d come through and done the one thing his grandfather had failed to do.  


He’d pulled himself out of the Dark, he’d basically spat at Sidious and his offer of grandeur.  


He’d saved the one whom he loved. Rey is alive, and all because he’d-  


“How am I alive?” comes out of his mouth before his brain can catch up.  


Anakin laughs again, but this time he seems genuinely amused.  


“I’m afraid I had very little to do with that, but that conversation will have to wait a while.”  


Anakin claps Ben on the shoulder and they stop walking.  


"The Force has demanded so much from us. The galaxy has taken so much from us. I think it's time we get paid back," his grandfather says, his solemn face forever entombed in youth.  


Ben realises this might be the only chance he’ll ever get with this man, and he has so much to say, but he doesn’t know where to begin.  


“Grandpa…”  


But Anakin just reaches up and ruffles his hair, and says, “I’m so proud of you, Ben. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you. We all will. I promise.”  


The world is blurry for a moment; if there are tears involved, he refuses to acknowledge them.  


But hadn’t that been the one thing he’d always wanted to hear?  


“I don’t even know where I am,” is what he settles for in the end.  


Anakin follows Ben’s gaze, observes the never-ending expanse of black, the glittering stars, the almost invisible pathways running as far as the eyes can see, above and below. And circular formations scattered about every so often.  


“This is also a Netherworld, but unlike the one of the Force, or the real world out there, this doesn’t belong to any time or space.” He then points to the circular formation closest to them. Ben thinks he sees a familiar pattern at the top of it, but he cannot quite place it.  


“This is a portal. All of them are, in fact. They connect this place with every single point in time that has been, that is, and that ever will be.”  


Ben’s mind is running at hyperspeed, trying to make sense of everything his grandfather’s saying. It’s a lot, what with recently dying and then coming back.  


But before he can say anything else, he notices the blue form of Anakin Skywalker start to slowly fade.  


“I’m afraid I have to leave you now. You cannot leave this place on your own, but I wouldn’t worry if I were you,” he says with a crooked grin. "You are the other half of her soul. And now she's coming to take it back."  


Ben can only stare, motionless, speechless.  


“Hang in there, kid,” is the last thing he says, before he fades away and Ben is left alone, amidst the stars.  


* * *

* * *

Somewhere far out in the real world, on a desolate desert planet, in the dead of night while the living sleep, a hand cast in bluish light reaches for the small shelf on the wall, and pushes one of the ancient books so that it lands, face up and open, on the floor below.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben waking up naked in the World Between Worlds came to me in a fever dream about two days after I'd seen TROS, and I drew until my fingers bled and [this is the result](https://galactilicious.tumblr.com/post/189834577044/this-week-on-naked-and-afraid-former-supreme)  
> 
> 
> This ficlet will definitely not have more than 7 chapters (more like 5) but I'll leave the little question mark until the next chapter.  
> 
> 
> References:  
> 
> 
> [Netherworld of the Force](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Netherworld_of_the_Force)   
> 
> 
> [Mustafar](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Mustafar)   
> 
> 
> [Dyad in the Force](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Dyad_in_the_Force) (and the tears come streaming down your faaaaceee)  
> 
> 
> [Luke's Jedi temple](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Luke_Skywalker%27s_Jedi_temple) (sniffs)  
> 
> 
> [Yavin 4](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Yavin_4)   
> 
> 
> [Bioluminescent orchid](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Orchid)   
> 
> 
> [Vibroblade](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Vibroblade)   
> 
> 
> [Force transfer](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Transfer_Force)   
> 
> 
> [World Between Worlds](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/World_between_worlds)   
> 
> 
> In the canon novel [Bloodline](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Bloodline_\(novel\)) it is revealed that Leia, Han and Luke hadn't yet told Ben the truth about Darth Vader. The book takes place in 28 ABY, the same year that Luke's temple is destroyed and Ben falls. In a bid to destroy Leia's political carreer, a dude reveals her parentage to the Senate, which then spread all over HoloNet, and this is how Ben finds out.  
> 


End file.
